A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
