My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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