I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
