Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
