I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
