she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize