one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
pray to the hookup gods
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
