Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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