i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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