Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
