I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
