That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize