So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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