I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
