I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
