okay pat passed out under dana's car
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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