were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Randomize
