There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
