did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
