You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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