i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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