Don't you send me to vm
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
