Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
