Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
