Nicole vs. Life
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Everyone says I win the strip club
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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