apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Dignity is for republicans.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
