no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
