were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
