also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
