Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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