White coat. Heels.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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