Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Just puked most of my soul out..
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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