Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
