I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
