Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
