You just made me feel so damn special
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
