Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
