i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize