I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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