1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
