I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
We have so much sex to catch up on
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
