How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
