dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
