you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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