Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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