How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
