We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
