she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
