I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
