just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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