i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
