I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
