I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
