fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
