White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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