There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
