I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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